| The Chronicles | Detachment & Other 'D' Words | ||||||
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 Once I was on the road, melancholy set in. The miles along a dark highway seemed to stretch forever. I doubt the songs of alternating angst and somberness helped much. As I neared Atlanta, I decided that I should drop by and visit David W. I knew I needed to get north, but I hadn't seen him in months and needed a break. I ended up dropping by and visiting with him and Anna Maria for a little while. His new place is pretty cool. Another detail that came out...he and Anna Maria aren't together anymore. Sadly, this came as a bit of a relief to me. David A seems wrapped up in a relationship these days - as is Jordan. Evan and Alex continue to be one step from marriage in their respective relationships. I guess we're all slowly nearing "marriage age". Anyway, I digress... Once I got headed back north, I was hit by an overwhelming desire to talk to someone. I scrolled through my list of numbers, but I didn't know who I wanted to talk to. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to talk with a person who doesn't exist...I wanted to talk with my girlfriend. I wanted to talk with that person who would make me feel better about everything just with the word 'Hello'. Life is not a romantic comedy...despite how much I want it to be sometimes. I desperately wanted to be home. A short while later, I finally pulled into my parking spot outside my door. Upon getting out of the car, I noticed that while winter has so-far bypassed Auburn, it has arrived on Lookout Mountain with near-freezing weather. I shoveled my belongings into a quiet, dark house. My sister, mom, and Jonathan were all asleep. My brother was half-asleep on the couch, watching "LOTR: Two Towers", and he crawled to bed soon after my arrival. I hoped to watch Adult Swim...and thought it might cheer me up. I also hoped to write this entry. Unfortunately, the satellite was knocked out on that side of the house. Additionally, the computer in my room was gone. Apparently, there was a recent electrical storm that knocked out a huge portion of our technology. Thusly discouraged, I crawled into my cold bed. I thought to read...but my mind swam too much. Instead, I laid there, feeling very alone, and lamenting that I no longer felt at home...that [Auburn] felt more like home. I fell asleep with some difficulty, but I slept fairly soundly. I recall that I dreamt a lot...of snow, ice, and winter in general. I awoke at 8am, decided it was too early, and went back to sleep. I awoke again at 3pm. By that time, the house was again sadly devoid of life. Throwing together a make-shift breakfast, I got out the door to go watch my sister bowl (she's on the school team). My feeling of detachment while driving alone continued as I made my way across town. And by across town, I mean a good 45 minute drive. In Auburn, the farthest drive is 10-15 minutes and a lot of days, I don't have to get in my car. In Chattanooga, 30-45 minutes is the norm. Anyway, I arrived at the bowling alley to find my brother getting his bowling ball out of the car. This gave me an excuse to finally use my bowling ball (that I got from league three months ago). Apparently, there's an adjustment period for a new ball as I proved by posting a 75 in my first game; I peaked 100 in the second game. One would think that being social would dispel my detachment. No such luck. The occasional thought that would pass through my head..."Hey, that girl's kind of attractive...oh wait...she's 16. Gah." Basically, I felt completely out of place. I bided most of my time watching my brother exchange awkwardly with his ex, my sister, and their friends. After a while, I really didn't want to be there, but I really didn't know where I wanted to be. Once her match ended, I headed back to town to figure out what movies were playing. "Elf" was the only thing that I wanted to see at the Bijou. On a side note, I doubt I'm going to find anyone to see "Looney Tunes" with. Anyway, I bought a ticket, settled into a seat in the lobby to wait for my brother and sister, and continued to read my appropriately existential book, "Invisible Man", for my class. Eventually they showed up and my mind was temporarily distracted by some lighthearted warmth in the form of pictures projected on a wall in a dark room. Afterwards, we made our way to StarrGate...where I am now. And, you know what? This really did help. Perhaps my melancholy can be chalked up to going to long between journal updates. Maybe this is "who" I really wanted to talk to but couldn't. Well, I really must take my sister home. I guess this will have to suffice. Look for a less depressing entry next time. Oh, and hopefully I can manage to tie the last few weeks together (where I left off in the last entry to yesterday). So, yeah, sorry again about taking so long. After 100 entries, I'm still bad about procrastinating. hehe. | |||||||
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